Promotion to Become a Partner

Things got complicated when I told my Partner in my current firm about my offer.
They got misunderstood. Thought that I betrayed them.
Yes, I was wrong. I told them not in a right way and not in the right time.
But then I apologize and start the conversation better.
They understood and gave their perspective.

They said, why would you downgrade your position just for amount of number that actually we can give you. Even better.
But we play different game here.
If you wanna increase your salary, then you have to take a bigger responsibility.
By becoming a Partner.

Man, I'm so confused.

My head full of what if this...how if that...many worse case scenario that I can't find the answer by my own.

Then I call a friend.

My supporting system, consist of 5 most important people in my life.

My husband, my mom, my sibling, my cousin, and my BFF.

All of them didn't give the answer I wanna hear.

They leave the decision up to me.

They just gave the perspective that I need.

Things that I have to remember at the first place if I choose one to another.

It give my head super headache until finally I give up and surrender to God.

At one night, I pray istiqarah, ask God to help me to decide.

God never answer directly, but fortunately God gave me sign what to choose, even though my heart still uncertain, and I only got 3 days left to decide.

Then I talked to my direct supervisor, which also partner in that firm, which also person that I consider as my senior in Campus, my friend, my brother, and also my pain in the ass.

He gave some perspectives that also open my mind and eyes.

That life is not all about numbers.

Remembering that I already married, things would be different from when I still single.

There are also certain things to reconsider, which are:

1. Baby --> It's all in the God's hands. We only can try our best and keep praying
2. Working Mom --> It's heavy and how woman handle it, reflect what kind of Mom of your children would have and what kind of wife you would be.
3. Carrier --> Partner is a top position in Public Accountant Firm. So if people already in this position, they are in the top chain. It's just how you think where do you wanna play, in ocean or pond.
4. Happy Life --> Can you get all the three (point 1 to 3 ) balance? If it's not balance, will you be happy? Will you have a happy life? It's all our choice.

Then I talked to my husband again also with my mum and my sibling.

They finally gave their opinion. 

They're into this.

Why?

1. The workload is clear, you can manage your life better, like having a baby, while still working, and take master degree, without adding more stress because you already excelled the field.
2. You can choose what kind of partner you would become
3. You have more power to change and improve into better

And all of that can lead into number 4.

Rationally, people would choose what I told in previous post. Because, hey, you got higher salary but you have fewer responsibilities because your role downgraded.

But in the long run, this life that I told in this very post, is the most make sense of all.

All of my fear finally be answered. 

Nothing impossible unless we give up trying and praying.

I also can deny myself that I flattered.

Being promoted become Partner before 30.

Is like they finally see my hard work and my masterpiece.

That finally my CPA & CA, my GPA, my University matter.

That finally I get the justice for what I have been working for almost a decade.

That finally I learn and understand, that loyalty is earned. 

Not given, not bought.

The most important thing is, I got permission from my husband and my mum.

As long as I keep learning to become a good, wise leader to the firm,

As long as the right and obligation balance.

They ok with that.

It's like that I'm writing just to convince my decision.

To convince my heart and my mind, that this is the right decision.

Well, there is still 3 days left.

Hope everything become clearer.

Bismillah, wish me luck. Amin.

*fingercrossed