9 Years Journey

Finally I made this story,
About how I end up spending the last 9 years I had by becoming professional auditor in public accounting firm.

Up until I come in the front door of my dream: Audit Partner.
I just one step closer to that dream.
But like they said: the higher the tree, the harder wind stroke.
Just one step closer, but I found some people against it.

They said I don't deserve it.
They said I'm not worthy.
They said I come at this point because I have certain "relationship" with certain partner.
They said "What can she do? Who the hell she think she is? Expecting to be partner"
They said, what I do by developing my team just to steal their heart, so they like me.
They said I'm bossy.
They said they don't like how I do my job.

If what they hate if the consistency of giving the best result of works, despite any obstacles I've face, okay, I got it.
Not everyone can handle shitty situation well.
If being mostly on time to almost every schedule I made, including on time billing payment from clients, on time to office.
Okay, I understand, not everyone have such disciplinary like I have.

If they saw me close to certain partners, yes, I do.
I try my best to earned their trust.
I try my best to deliver excellent results, with minimum instruction.
I explore with my ideas and creativity, and I communicate it.
Thanks God, they love my ideas.
Because I also love it.
I love my job.
I do it with passion.
Because this is thing that I good at.
And I enjoy it.

I try my best to be honest with almost every things I do.
I try my best to be consistence.
And the most important thing, I try my best to be loyal.

Is it hard? Yes, it's so damned freaking hard.
Where there are many of my friends have better salary, more enjoyable life than I have, without have to work that hard.
Yes, I envied them.
But I know, I realized, that everyone has their own way and time to shine.
And I know, what's mine.

This is my journey,
My hardwork.
You don't have the right to justify my work with heart close and only one open eyes.
This is my long time dedication and intend to keep it going.
I don't care if they hate me for being their pain in the ass.
To see that I can handle every negativity they throw at me.

Keep throwing me your shit.
Let me help release your toxic.
Maybe, you don't have person to make you feel better.
Let me be that person.
Even though it costs my tears.
But it's okay.

I do cry sometimes,
Sometimes I sad,
Sometimes I stumbled,
In some place, I fell.
But I always find a way to get up,
Because I have such beautiful supporting system that help me out.
My God, spouse, mom, bff, sisters.

You might hurt me.
But it's okay.
I forgive you.
I know, you don't have anything except hatred to accept the reality, that I might be better than you.

If you hate me so bad,
Just prove it, that you can do better than me.
I'm okay with that.
See what you got.
And if what you've got is better than what I had,
That's good.
Good for you, and keep it up.

I wish nothing but the best for you.
I hope you get what you want in life.
And I hope, you get it with your own highest integrity.

Thank you for the reflection the past couple months,
After 9 years, finally I can see clearly now,
Who actually stand behind my back,
To trully support me and to stab me.

I promise myself I'd be strong and to survive 1 more year with you.
And later, I will let myself decide, are you still worth my fight,
Or should I give up on you.
Up until then, I will keep on fighting,
Giving you the best I can do.
Despite of the rocky road you gave.

I believe, in the end, all of this will be paid fairly.
God is not sleeping, God is watching, and God knows I'm working my ass off with such honesty and integrity that you can't possibly imagine.
Because you're not in my position, and neither am I.

Thank you for making me a stronger person.
I hope, all this experiences will make my foundation more firm.
And help me to achieve more of my goals in my life.

Amin.